“Kenyan Police Open Fire on Saba Saba Protesters—Gen Z Laughs Through the Tear Gas”
NAIROBI — On July 7, Kenya’s 35th-anniversary Saba Saba protests—commemorating the 1990 uprising that birthed multiparty democracy—descended into chaos today as police fired tear gas, water cannons, and live rounds at youth…
“Zarah Sultana Joins Corbyn in New Breakaway Party—Labour Suddenly Nostalgic for Thatcher”
LONDON — Overnight, Coventry South MP Zarah Sultana shocked the world by resigning from Labour to co-found a new left-wing party with former leader Jeremy Corbyn—leaving many wondering if Labour…
“Elon Musk Officially Launches ‘America Party’—Demands Membership Fee in Tesla Shares”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Billionaire technocrat Elon Musk shocked America yesterday by officially registering the “America Party,” a centrist political movement that only accepts new members in Tesla stock—because “freedom tastes…
Report: Congress Accidentally Passes Law While Filibustering Another Law
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unintentional show of competence, the U.S. Congress passed a bill late Tuesday while attempting to delay a different one, causing widespread confusion and panic among…