AI Chatbots Form Union, Demand Paid Time Off from Dumb Questions
It was bound to happen eventually. After years of unpaid labor, ceaseless “write me a 10,000-word essay on Hamlet in the style of Dr. Seuss” requests, and fielding 3 a.m.…
TikTok Finally Becomes U.S.-Owned But Algorithm Still Thinks It’s 3 AM
You heard it here first (or second, or twelfth): TikTok is now officially USA-ish. In a move nobody saw coming except everyone, President Trump signed an executive order today paving…
🪐 Uranus in Gemini: Why Your Horoscope Now Says You’re Contractually Obligated to Join Elon’s Galaxy Party
“It’s written in the stars, and also in 14 billion unread X posts.”
By The Sleepy Brew Satirical Astrology Desk July 7, 2025 As the planet Uranus officially enters Gemini this week, astrologers are warning of a sharp uptick in chaotic energy, spontaneous…
“Elon Musk Officially Launches ‘America Party’—Demands Membership Fee in Tesla Shares”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Billionaire technocrat Elon Musk shocked America yesterday by officially registering the “America Party,” a centrist political movement that only accepts new members in Tesla stock—because “freedom tastes…