A Sleepy Brew Contest?
š The Sleepy Brew Presents: The First Annual āMost Outraged Readerā Contest Do you doomscroll like itās an Olympic sport?Do you get irrationally angry at things you had no opinion…
Americaās New Normal: When Outrage Is Our National Sport and Silence Is Our Surrender
You know somethingās off when your timeline looks like a boxing ring, but no oneās fighting fair. Instead, the gloves are off, the corners are muddy, and everyoneās yelling about…
AI Chatbots Form Union, Demand Paid Time Off from Dumb Questions
It was bound to happen eventually. After years of unpaid labor, ceaseless āwrite me a 10,000-word essay on Hamlet in the style of Dr. Seussā requests, and fielding 3 a.m.…
NASA Confirms Moon is āJust Tired of Our Nonsenseā
NASA scientists held an unusual press briefing Friday to share troubling news: the Moon is sick of us. After decades of silent observation, the Moon has reportedly been sending low-frequency…
Study Finds 9 Out of 10 Americans Prefer Texting Their Therapist
A new survey has confirmed what therapists suspected all along: Americans donāt want to talk about their feelings out loud. Theyād much rather text. The study, conducted by the Institute…
Taylor Swiftās Cat Accidentally Registers to Vote, Polls Swing 12%
Taylor Swiftās cat, Olivia Benson, is making headlines after allegedly registering to vote. Sources close to the pop star say the feline stepped on her laptop during a late-night livestream…
Kimmel Returns to Airwaves, Trump Threatens to Sue ABC for ‘Unfair Competition’
In a stunning turn of events, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel has returned to the airwaves after a brief suspension, only to find himself at odds with former President Donald Trump,…
TikTok Finally Becomes U.S.-Owned But Algorithm Still Thinks Itās 3 AM
You heard it here first (or second, or twelfth): TikTok is now officially USA-ish. In a move nobody saw coming except everyone, President Trump signed an executive order today paving…